this is a story i'm writing for my english class. i'm in yr 9 and am not a very good writer that probably why i published here. i need some help writing it and if you have any comments please go right ahead. the character names i need to replace, because i'm using the names from 'the salton sea' it's a movie i really like. this is my first draft. ummz... i'd like to acknowledge that the song is called 'what a wonderful world' by louis armstrong, i realli like this song so i just wanted to mention it in the story somewhere appropriate. i don't realli knkow how to write one of those disclaimer things but it's meant to be for the song. i think you know what i mean.

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Danny stood behind the yellow line waiting for his train. He was alone on the platform, alone once more. Danny was an orphan but he had many friends who supported him. Although he had the support of friends, he somehow still felt lonely, like something was missing. But he didn’t know what this emptiness in his heart was.

The train suddenly arrived. The doors opened in front of him. This wasn’t a normal train. He could tell by the interior. Although it looked just like any other train on the outside, the inside was decorated beautifully. The walls and floors were wooden and the seats were of white leather. There was a presence of elegance to it. A song began to play. It was ‘What a wonderful world’ by Louis Armstrong.

~I see trees of green, red roses too~
~I see them bloom, for me and you~
~And I think to myself, what a wonderful world~
~I see skies of blue, and clouds of white~
~The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night~
~And I think to myself, what a wonderful world~
~The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky~
~Are also on the faces, of people going by~
~I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do~
~They’re really saying, I love you~
I hear babies cry, I watch them grow~
~They’ll learn much more, than I’ll ever know~
~And I think to myself, what a wonderful world~
~Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world~
~Oh yeah~~

The song felt soothing and it seemed to beckon Danny onto the train. He was sure this wasn’t his train but felt drawn to it. Perhaps it was the song, he didn’t know what it was hypnotizing him, urging him onwards. He cautiously stepped onto the train. The doors quickly closed behind him. He looked back through the glass doors. He felt as though he was leaving something. A movement in the shadows suddenly caught his eyes. Before he was able to get a good look at the unknown figure, the train had already left the station. Danny was now on a journey to recapture lost memories.

…~*~*~*~…

‘Hi. I’m Detective Tom Van Allen, I deal with missing people.’

‘Hey, and I’m Detective Daniel Durden, I’m the one in charge of this case.’

‘What do we know about the briefcase?’ asked Detective Van Allen.

‘Well, we believe the owner is a guy named Danny Parker,’ said Detective Durden.

‘He was reported missing by his landlord a few days ago. So how did the briefcase get there?’

‘We don’t know yet. We’re going to check surveillance cameras now.’

‘Well then, I suggest we get moving. We don’t want to delay this matter any longer.’

‘Ok.’

Detective Van Allen and Detective Durden quickly made his way up the stairs of Central station into the surveillance room. The room was small and the walls were lined with screens showing different angles and places of the station. Below the screens was the control panel with a lot of buttons. There were two security guards in the room, two round men; one reading a newspaper and the other watched the screens.

‘Hello gentlemen, I’m Detective Durden. I’m in charge of this case, what do we have on the cameras?’ The man with the newspaper almost fell out of his seat on hearing the detective’s voice. The man watching the screen turned to the detective.

‘The briefcase was reported to be unattended around this morning at 7:16 AM. We thought it was a bomb because it was vibrating, so the police and bomb squad was called in at around 7:25 AM. But when the case was finally opened, the vibrating was actually just an electric razor. No bomb was found sir. It just seems the briefcase was forgotten by someone.’ He said in a casual tone.

‘Ok. When was the briefcase left here?’

‘We checked but the camera experienced some difficulty during the time the briefcase arrived at the station, sir.’

‘Show me the tape.’ The security guard took out a tape from the shelf beside the control panel. He put the tape on and it began at 11:03 PM. He began winding it forward to 11:45 PM. The station was empty. Suddenly a dark figure appeared from the end of the platform. His face was turned away from the camera. The screen became static. When it stopped a briefcase sat under the blue bench, the exact position the briefcase was found at.

‘Do you have any other angles of this platform?’

‘No sir, we are installing new cameras and not all cameras have been installed on that platform yet.’

‘Thank you,’ Detective Van Allen said before leaving the cramped room with Detective Durden.

They returned to platform 19 and examined the items in the briefcase.

‘Hmm… a pair of prescription glasses, bus ticket - LA to Mexico (25/12/90) and another one in (14/07/02), $326.45 cash, a photograph of an old lady, business cards - Casanostra - Restaurant - Domenic and Danny, and a camera,’ listed Detective Durden.

‘The strangest thing is that there are no photos of Danny anywhere. He has a clean background so there is no record of him with the police and he doesn’t drive. He takes the train. So we have no photos of him at all.’

‘Maybe there will be some photos of him on the camera.’

‘Maybe. Anyway, let’s start with the restaurant,’ suggested Detective Van Allen.

‘Ok.’

…~*~*~*~…

Danny took a seat on the train. It was empty. He wasn’t even sure whether there was anyone controlling the train. He checked his watch, it had been almost an hour since he boarded the train. He had already walked through the entire train searching for a companion. But his search led to nothing. Nobody else was on the train but him. Danny looked out the windows but there was nothing except empty darkness. This is strange he thought. Where was this train going? He didn’t even know.

‘What am I doing here?’ he asked himself ‘I must be going crazy now, I’m talking to myself,’ he said with a chuckle. The song ‘What a Wonderful World’ began to play again. It reminded him of something but he couldn’t remember what it was.

…~*~*~*~…

‘Excuse me, are you Dominic Capello?’ asked the detective.

‘Yes and who are you?’ he asked.

‘I’m detective Tom Van Allen and this is detective Daniel Durden,’ introduced detective Van Allen.

‘How may I help you detectives?’

‘Are you a friend of Danny Parker?’

‘Yeah, is he in any trouble?’

‘Well, we don’t know because he’s currently missing. When was the last time you saw him Mr Capello?’

‘Can we go into my office and talk about this?’ asked Domenic, he led them from the front of the kitchen into a small office in the back of the kitchen. ‘Umm, I think it was last night. Yeah, right here, he worked his usual shift and left around 11:30 PM. It was pretty busy yesterday,’ he continued.

‘We found what we believe to be his briefcase at central station. Did you see him carry a black briefcase when he left last night?’

‘Yeah, he always carries one,’ smiled Domenic.

‘This is a nice restaurant you own here.’

‘Yeah. Danny and I built it together. We go way back. But it’s under my name because he didn’t really want it. He used to help out every now and then. But since Claire died he’s practically lived here.’

‘Do you recognize these items?’ asked Detective Durden. He held up items in plastic bags. There were two bus tickets both were the same, LA to Mexico. Both of the dates were on Christmas day but they were 10 yrs apart.

‘Oh yeah. The one in 1990 was when we were 18. It was when we finished the HSC. We went to America together and we went from LA to Mexico to party. I can’t believe he still has the ticket. The second one was when he met Claire.’

‘Who’s Claire?’

‘She was Danny’s girlfriend, he was crazy about her.’

…~*~*~*~…

Danny began to feel sick again. He rushed to the bathroom but when he reached the sink, it was too late. There was a short trail of vomit behind him leading to the sink. The stench slowly rose, filling the bathroom with the horrible smell of rotten food and sour milk. He wasn’t sure how he could stand the stench inside the bathroom but he managed. He looked into the mirror above the sink. His unkempt hair was messily thrown over his eyes. It was usually gelled back neatly but he’d been feeling unwell lately and didn’t have the time to gel it. His grey blue eyes stared coldly back at himself. If someone walked into that bathroom right now, they’d probably think he was a maniac. Chuckling to himself he washed his face and left the foul smelling bathroom. Waiting outside was Domenic.

‘Man that was foul, what did you have for breakfast?’ he laughed,

‘I dunno, you must have done something to my food,’ accused Danny with a laugh.

‘You wanna fight huh?’ he said and punched Danny playfully. Danny punch back but then realized people were staring at them. He smiled at them and got onto the bus with Domenic.

‘Man this is gonna be a long ride,’ said Domenic collapsing on the seat next to Danny.

‘Ha. Did you see those people’s faces? I bet they though I was a maniac,’ said Danny smiling proudly.

‘What can they expect from a crazy looking idiot?’ joked Domenic.

‘THE TRIP FROM LA TO MEXICO WILL BEGIN IN 5 MINUTES,’ the bus driver shouted to the back.

‘When do you think we’re having lunch?’ Danny asked Domenic.

‘You’ve just thrown up and you’re still thinking about food,’ laughed Domenic.

It was almost 7:00 pm when they arrived in Mexico. The streets were overflowing with tourists and partygoers. It was Christmas after all.

‘Let’s find a room,’ said Daniel to Dominic.

‘Wait,’ said Dominic, eyeing a beautiful young girl nearby.

‘We gotta find a place before we can begin fooling around,’ said Danny in a serious tone. He didn’t want to end up drunk in the middle of nowhere.

‘Aww. But I might not get to see her again,’ whined Dominic.

‘We’ll get to see plenty of other girls later,’ Danny said to Dominic as he dragged him away from the crowd. Dominic gave in and followed Danny to a hotel nearby. They unpacked their clothes and took showers before they went out again.

‘Where are we going now?’ asked Danny.

‘I know a cool club near here. Lets got check it out,’ suggested Dominic with a devious smile.

‘You and girls,’ said Danny, rolling his eyes.

‘Just because you can’t get any,’ laughed Dominic.

‘…’ Danny didn’t have any comebacks and he knew that was true. Even with his good looks, he was too shy to talk to any girls. many girls had approached him but he was always too shy to say anything.

‘Tonight I’ll help you get some. Think of it as a Christmas present,’ said Dominic hooking his arm around Dannys neck.

Inside the club were crowds of people dancing to the trance played by the DJ on the stage at the front. It was dark inside except for the bar which glowed blue and the people holding glow sticks. The pair went over to the bar and ordered their drinks. Dominic went off to dance with a group of girls. Danny was left alone. He stayed at the bar and ordered another drink. He kept his eyes on his drink. Someone took the seat next to him. A sweet fragrance filled his nostrils. It was intoxicating. He still kept his eyes on his drink.

‘I’ll have what he’s having,’ said a female voice. It came from the person sitting next to him. He gathered his courage and finally managed to utter a hello.

‘Hello,’ he said nervously.

‘Hi stranger,’ she greeted in a playful voice, ‘I’m Claire, nice to meet you.’

‘And I’m Danny.’ He stared at her enticing emerald eyes. She smiled revealing a side of her he wished was with him forever. He felt warmth in his heart. It was feeling he’d never experience before.

‘Watcha staring at Danny?’ she laughed.

‘Oh nothing,’ he said with a smile. He continued to gaze into her hypnotic eyes. He broke away when Dominic took the seat beside him.

‘So… have you been here before?’

‘Yeah, I came here with my friends when we were 18. That was quite a while ago. I’ve wanted to come back many times but I’ve always been busy, until now. Have you been here before?’

‘Nah, this is my first time here…’ she continued on.

‘So you finally found someone!’ interrupted Dominic patting his friend on the back, ‘Don’t mind me just continue with your conversation.’ He laughed, and with that he left the two alone. There was an awkward silence between them. Danny wasn’t sure what to say. He felt his mouth dry. He took another sip of his drink. This was an embarrassing moment. He wasn’t sure what to do. She lowered her head waiting for him to get closer. But he didn’t dare do it. She turned from the bar, about to leave but a hand reached out and grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. In that instance their lips met and he passionately kissed her. He wasn’t sure what made him so impulsive but he was glad he did it. They continued to kiss. As the moment passed, they broke away.

‘Let’s go,’ she whispered grabbing his hand.

…~*~*~*~…

‘As the days passed, Danny grew closer to Claire. Soon she moved in with him. They were a great couple and rarely fought. I wasn’t sure what it was but I didn’t trust her. But Danny ignored me. We soon grew apart as he and Claire grew closer. But a few years later they she got really sick. Doctors didn’t know what it was. She was admitted into the hospital for some tests. It turned out to be food poisoning, but the doctors weren’t sure how serious it was. Unfortunately it turned out to be very serious and she passed away leaving Danny. After that we became friends again. But soon after that the poor guy had a nervous breakdown and forgot everything about her,’ Dominic recounted for the detectives.

‘How did she die?’

‘I’m not sure, Danny didn’t want to talk about it, and so I never asked.’ The next items in the plastic bags were prescription glasses.

‘Does he were prescription glasses?’ asked Detective Van Allen.

‘No, but Claire did. I’m not sure how he got these. I’ve been to his house but it seems that everything to do with Claire mysteriously vanished.’

‘Is that so?’ said Detective Durden. He held up another plastic bag. Inside was a sepia style photograph of an old lady. Hand written on the back was Nana 97 yrs June ’85.

‘Oh, that’s Danny’s grandmother. She made the best cakes. But she died a while after that photo was taken, sometime in September.’

‘Ok, That’ll be all,’ said Detective Durden putting the items back into a bag, ‘If you see Danny can you tell him to come down to the police station and if you find out anything could you please contact me?’ Detective Durden gave him his card.

‘Oh by the way, do you have any current photos of Danny?’ asked Detective Van Allen.

‘No, he never liked taking photos,’ replied Dominic.

‘Thank you for your time Mr Capello,’ thanked both detectives as they left the restaurant.

‘Lets get these items to forensics. I think the photos in the camera have been developed by now and the briefcase should have fingerprints on it.’ said Tom

…~*~*~*~…

‘What do we have, Jake?’ asked Tom

‘Well… I haven’t got onto dusting the case yet. I’ve been working on other jobs. But I’ve developed the photos for you,’ Jake replied. He handed the photographs to Tom. They were mostly pictures of a girl, presumably Claire, and there were a few pictures of Dominic.

‘How strange, we still don’t have any photos of Danny. How are we going to find him if we don’t even know what he looks like?’ asked Daniel.
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ummz... this story isn't completed yet, i was hoping by putting it up here that people could help me and give me some tips on writing. btw: this is my first crime story.

~KID~